Purpose Driven: A little letter to myself
Purpose Driven Life Journal
Day one: So, It's Not About Me?
Today I realized that it truly isn't about me. I'd been praying for my mother to stay in WS with me, so that I and others she's come in contact with down here can enjoy and learn from her testimony. I'd also been fearful that having had her own prayers answered in my deliverance and being allowed to live to witness it for herself, she'd go off and die. I recognized today that this was such an arrogant and selfish (though completely real) desire and thought pattern on my part.
She's done her job with me at this point, assured that I have been saved, left in good hands under the authority of Bishop Hash and Lady Joyce (as she said softly last night, "he's a good teacher."), and surrounded by grounded, saved new friends. And she knows that she knows that she knows it, 'cause she came down here to check it out for herself.
And anyway, it's not about me, what I need or what I want. It's God's plan, God's will, and God's work--and he may or may not be done with Bea--'cause it's also not about Bea: it's about God and God's design. So I prayed for Bea--that she travel safely to whatever destination God has in mind for her, and that as always, she will be a willing worker for God.
So last night in bible study, when I was getting the feeling she was shunning me during the whole evening, it was like the mother of a litter of kittens or pups who cares diligently for her young until they come of age; then, having taught/shown them all the skills they'll need to fend for themselves in the "wilderness" of life, she kicks them off the teat, nudging them to get their own food elsewhere. And if they persist, mom literally runs away from the pups until they get the message!
I also must reflect upon and remember Bishop's message from Wednesday's bible study: the 3 stages (progression) of being called and the examples of "maximum ministry"—
○ Serving (humbling yourself without thought to your desires) faithfully
○ Being called (into service by God)
○ Separation (held apart for and by God)
Our examples for this lesson were Paul (a servant of Christ, called to be a disciple, set apart to spread the gospel); Joshua (a servant of Moses), who served and prayerfully waited on God, fulfilling God's plan. Joshua was enabled by God with additional spiritual gifts as his ministry grew, and this servant/minister became leader of all Israel; Elisha, servant of Elijah the prophet. Elisha served faithfully, without complaint, and more and more was added to him as he fulfilled God's plan; and finally Gehazai, the bad servant to Elisha, who because of his impatience and desire to *take* more before his season, was cursed with the affliction of which Naaman had been cured.
I am just beginning my servant stage. Bea is my Moses, my Elijah, my Elisha, my one called to spread the Good News; I learn to serve by acknowledging all I have observed in her all my life. And I believe that "service" does not only attach to the church; it is a way of life in every phase and area of my life, including the now infamous (because of my incessant chatter about it) School of Business and Economics at Winston-Salem State University. I will follow her example; I will do what she's done all her life, without complaint. I will remember her testimony: that is-- never give up because prayer works! I have only received glimmers of what God has planned for me, but I do know that it's time for Avis to make way for God, right now. It may take my lifetime, but God's will be done…
More later (from chapter 2),
Learning more each day,
Love,
Avis
Day one: So, It's Not About Me?
Today I realized that it truly isn't about me. I'd been praying for my mother to stay in WS with me, so that I and others she's come in contact with down here can enjoy and learn from her testimony. I'd also been fearful that having had her own prayers answered in my deliverance and being allowed to live to witness it for herself, she'd go off and die. I recognized today that this was such an arrogant and selfish (though completely real) desire and thought pattern on my part.
She's done her job with me at this point, assured that I have been saved, left in good hands under the authority of Bishop Hash and Lady Joyce (as she said softly last night, "he's a good teacher."), and surrounded by grounded, saved new friends. And she knows that she knows that she knows it, 'cause she came down here to check it out for herself.
And anyway, it's not about me, what I need or what I want. It's God's plan, God's will, and God's work--and he may or may not be done with Bea--'cause it's also not about Bea: it's about God and God's design. So I prayed for Bea--that she travel safely to whatever destination God has in mind for her, and that as always, she will be a willing worker for God.
So last night in bible study, when I was getting the feeling she was shunning me during the whole evening, it was like the mother of a litter of kittens or pups who cares diligently for her young until they come of age; then, having taught/shown them all the skills they'll need to fend for themselves in the "wilderness" of life, she kicks them off the teat, nudging them to get their own food elsewhere. And if they persist, mom literally runs away from the pups until they get the message!
I also must reflect upon and remember Bishop's message from Wednesday's bible study: the 3 stages (progression) of being called and the examples of "maximum ministry"—
○ Serving (humbling yourself without thought to your desires) faithfully
○ Being called (into service by God)
○ Separation (held apart for and by God)
Our examples for this lesson were Paul (a servant of Christ, called to be a disciple, set apart to spread the gospel); Joshua (a servant of Moses), who served and prayerfully waited on God, fulfilling God's plan. Joshua was enabled by God with additional spiritual gifts as his ministry grew, and this servant/minister became leader of all Israel; Elisha, servant of Elijah the prophet. Elisha served faithfully, without complaint, and more and more was added to him as he fulfilled God's plan; and finally Gehazai, the bad servant to Elisha, who because of his impatience and desire to *take* more before his season, was cursed with the affliction of which Naaman had been cured.
I am just beginning my servant stage. Bea is my Moses, my Elijah, my Elisha, my one called to spread the Good News; I learn to serve by acknowledging all I have observed in her all my life. And I believe that "service" does not only attach to the church; it is a way of life in every phase and area of my life, including the now infamous (because of my incessant chatter about it) School of Business and Economics at Winston-Salem State University. I will follow her example; I will do what she's done all her life, without complaint. I will remember her testimony: that is-- never give up because prayer works! I have only received glimmers of what God has planned for me, but I do know that it's time for Avis to make way for God, right now. It may take my lifetime, but God's will be done…
More later (from chapter 2),
Learning more each day,
Love,
Avis
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